Ickle Magical Dudleykins
by DarkRaven777
Summary: Okay, this is my first fic, so here go's... In it Dudley Durlsey turns out to be a wizard and has to go to Hogwarts with everyone else.. only he's in his first year when he's 16! Dudley must cope with the wizarding world where no one likes him!UPDATE: Mic
1. Breakfast and Bicycles

Harry Potter reached across the breakfast table for another slice of toast, but a fat hand beat his, grabbing the toast and shoving it into the owner's mouth. Harry resisted the urge to glare at Dudley; he didn't want to give his Aunt and Uncle a reason to yell at him more than they had already. He couldn't even look at Ickle Dudleykins out of the corner of his eye without getting yelled at and sent to his room.  
This was the worst summer of Harry's life, but not because of the Dursleys. They still lived in fear of Sirius. Sirius was what was making this summer the worst yet for him. Yet Sirius was gone. He had no relatives in the wizarding world now. Sirius had meant just about everything to him. Now he was gone.  
"Mum," Dudley's voice interrupted his thoughts. "I'm going to go over to a friend's. There's an important documentary film on the tele, and we were going to watch it together in order to further our knowledge of the world."  
Harry turned his snigger into a cough. Aunt Petunia, however, beamed at her son. "That's my boy." Uncle Vernon said. "Run alone, Dudley."  
Dudley got up from the table, waddling fast as he could out of the kitchen. A few minutes later Harry also rose, ignoring the looks he was receiving from his Aunt and Uncle.  
He had just started up the stairs when he heard Dudley's shriek and the sound of a bicycle skidding on pavement, along with angry voices breaking the calm of Privit Drive. He hurried out the door but was pushed out of the way by his Aunt and Uncle. Tumbling unceremoniously to the ground, Harry fumbled for his glasses. Setting the spectacles firmly on his nose, he hurried after his relatives.  
Uncle Vernon was yelling nonsense and Aunt Petunia had her hands to her cheeks as she stared at her son. The man on the bicycle came over to them, a worried expression on his face. He paid no attention to his bike, which was now wrapped around a tree, but was staring in awe at Dudley.  
Harry looked up across the street, and felt his jaw drop. Somehow his incredibly fat cousin had managed to get himself up onto the roof on a neighboring house. The roof was creaking and groaning under his weight, looking like it was about to give out any moment.  
"You! Boy!" Uncle Vernon's face was a deep shade of purple, and Harry couldn't help comparing the colour to that of an eggplant. "What did you do?" his uncle yelled.  
"Nothing." Harry said truthfully, trying to get a better look at his cousin who was glancing about, scared and confused.  
"YOU'RE LYING, BOY! GET DUDLEY DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"  
The man who had been riding the bicycle came over, looking a bit afraid of Vernon. "Excuse me, sir, but this boy was nowhere around when this happened. Your son came out of nowhere-- I couldn't swerve in time, though I tried, and I thought for sure I was going to hit him, as there was no way I could miss all of that bulk he carries. Then he was just, there, up on the roof! I'm not quite sure how it happened, it was like, like magic!"  
Uncle Vernon glared at the man, who shrunk under his gaze. Harry was staring up at Dudley in disbelief.  
"I'm really sorry about your son, sir-hey! Where'd he come from?"  
Harry felt a hand on his shoulder and tipped his head back to look in disbelief at Albus Dumbledore. "Come, Harry." His headmaster said. "We need to talk."  
"GET MY BOY DOWN FIRST!" Vernon roared.

Yes. I died. Actually, 'twas the computer that died, but that's not the point. And as promised, now that I have Microsoft word again, I'll be updating. However, first I must go through all the chapters and tweak them a bit, though I don't think I'll have them all to my satisfaction for a while. So we'll see how this turns out. Also, I'll replace those chapters I have which are just updates with actual chapters. Aren't I the best?


	2. Petunia Puts Her Foot DOwn

'Would it be so bad if we left him up there?' Harry thought to himself as he followed Dumbledore into his aunt and uncle's house. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon followed close on their heels, Vernon muttering something about not wanting one of _them_ in his house.  
"Well," Dumbledore said cheerfully, turning to face Harry, his aunt and his uncle. "It seems something unexpected has happened that has caught us off guard, you see--"  
"Just get to the point already," Vernon interrupted. "Why is my son up there on the roof? What did Harry do to him?"  
Dumbledore just regarded Vernon Dursley calmly. "Harry here did nothing. You son did it himself," he said, straightening his powder blue cloak. "He is, after all, a wizard."  
There was a moment of silence in which they all stared at Dumbledor, sure that this was just an elaborate joke of some kind, except Dumbledore himself was looking quite serious as he popped what looked to be a lemon drop into his mouth.  
"WHAT? MY SON IS NOT ONE OF YOUR LOT!" Harry's Uncle roared at Dumbledore.  
"Yes, he is. He's a wizard. You have no choice but to send him to Hogwarts."  
"B-b-but Professor!" Harry protested. "If Dudley IS a wizard, why didn't he start at Hogwarts when I did?"  
"Because, Harry, Dudley's powers weren't strong enough at the time for any type of magical training."  
"HE'S NOT GOING OFF TO SOME SCHOOL WITH YOUR LOT TO LEARN POINTLESS MAGIC TRICKS!"  
None of them paid attention to Mr. Dursley. "But..." Aunt Petunia began, "But...he can't go! My Ickle Dudleykins just can't go!"  
"I'm afraid, Petunia, he must," Dumbledore replied kindly. "He needs the proper training we can give him. He can get in serious danger if he isn't trained. You can always keep him, though, if you don't mind the neighbors talking about poor Dudley, about all the strange things he does."  
He seemed to have struck a nerve. "No! I don't want that! He goes! He goes!"  
"NO HE DOESN'T!" Vernon yelled.  
Petunia rounded on her husband. "Dudley is going to that school, Vernon! My Dudleykins will be safe!"  
"But-- But Petunia!"  
"He's going, Vernon!" Petunia gave him a hard look. She rarely put her foot down, but when she did, things went her way or there was hell to pay.  
"Yes, dear." Vernon's voice was meek. He pulled out a handkerchief and moped his brow of sweat as his face slowly returned to its normal color.  
"Now that that's settled," Dumbledor said, pulling out two letters addressed in green ink. One he handed to Harry, the other to Petunia. "These shouldn't of come for a few more days, but as I am already here..." he drifted off and pulled out his wand. "Now, I'll go get your son." Pushing back his long sleeves to reveal bony elbows, Dumbledor walked out the door.  
Harry looked up at Petunia and Vernon, "Well, I guess you can't talk bad about 'my lot' anymore, especially since one of them is your son!"  
Vernon raised his hand as if to hit Harry, but forced it back down to his side in an extraordinary show of will power. "Watch your mouth, boy." Vernon's voice was low and dangerous.  
Harry sighed and kept his mouth shut. Vernon spoke again. "Your going to take him to get all this. Petunia, what does that thing say he needs?"  
"It doesn't say, just a letter welcoming him to-- wait, never mind, there's another piece of parchment here. He'll need; three sets of plain work robes, black, one plain pointed hat, black, for day wear, one pair of protective gloves, dragon hide or similar-"  
Uncle Vernon interrupted her. "Dragon hide? There's no such thing as dragons."  
"Yes, there is." Harry said.  
Vernon sputtered for a moment before looking back at his wife. "Go on Petunia."  
"Where was I, oh, yes. One winter cloak, black with silver fastenings. then it says that all pupils' clothes should carry nametags. hmmm. Okay, course books... He'll need 'The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)' by Miranda Goshawk, 'A History of Magic' by Bathilda Bagshot, 'Magical Theory' by Adalbert Waffling, 'A beginners' Guide to Transfiguration' by Emeric Switch, 'One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi' by Phyllida Spore, 'Magical Drafts and Potions' by Arsenius Jigger, 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' by Newt Scamander, and 'The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection' by Quentin Trimble."  
"Where are we going to get those things in London?" Vernon demanded. "Stores don't carry stuff like that!"  
"You don't, you get them in Diagon Ally," Harry corrected.  
"Never heard of it."  
"Of course you haven't, it's a wiz-- I mean, its one of our places."  
Vernon seemed to be digesting this bit of information so Petunia went on.  
"This next bit's shorter, it just says he'll need a wand, a cauldron, a set of glass or crystal phials, a telescope, and a set of brass scales. It also says he can have an owl or a cat or a toad."  
Vernon grumbled under his breath. "This stuff sounds expensive."  
Harry sighed. "You have to exchange your money. Muggl- I mean, normal money isn't any good."  
"What do you mean our money's no good?" Vernon's voice started to rise again.  
"You don't have knuts or sickles or galleons, do you?"  
"No, but neither do you!"  
"Yes I do. My parents left me some money."  
"I--what? They what? Why haven't you given it to us?"  
"Because its wizarding money." Harry said patiently.  
"We take you in and you don't' give us the money you have to help pay for your stuff! You ungrateful-" Thankfully at that moment Dumbledore came back with Dudley. "Mum! Dad! Why weren't you helping me! What'cha got there, Mum? What is it? It's got my name! Give it to me! Give it to me nooow!" His voice had an annoying whine in it as he reached for his letter.  
"Ah well, I can see I'm no longer needed." Dumbledore smiled at them. "See you two at the start of term, Harry, Dudley." With a nod to each and a loud crack, he disappeared.  
"What's that crazy old man mean, Mum?" Dudley demanded.


	3. Don't Yell at Your Mother!

"Er. Dudley, son, you're a wizard and-" Petunia began gently.  
"WAIT! What? I'm not a wizard! I'm not! Harry's the freak in this house!" Dudley yelled. "YOU'RE LYING! YOU'RE A HORRIBLE WOMAN FOR SAYING THAT TO ME!"  
"DUDLEY YOU WILL CALM DOWN THIS INSTANT! NEVER YELL AT YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!" Vernon roared. Dudley shrank back. "Now," Vernon said after a few deep breaths. "Lets go talk about this in the kitchens." He led the way there, a set look on his face. Dudley gave Harry a shocked look as he walked by him, hurrying after his father into the kitchen. Petunia followed her son and Harry tried to sneak back up stairs. Unfortunately, Uncle Vernon yelled for him to get in the kitchen, too, so Harry obeyed, slinking down into one of the chairs surrounding the round table.  
Vernon cleared his throat. "Dudley, son, you are a. a wizard." It looked like it pained him to say that. "Accept that fact."  
Dudley nodded but said nothing.  
"You'll be going with Harry to his school. er. Pig Warts, wasn't it?" He was speaking through clenched teeth, trying to stay calm.  
"Hogwarts." Harry corrected. "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."  
"Oh, yes, that's right. anyway, you'll be going with Harry there. He'll explain everything you need to know to you, for instance, how to act, what to do, what not to do. You will do exactly as Harry tells you." Vernon's voice was firm, and Dudley knew that he meant it.  
"We'll also be giving you enough money to buy all your books and robes." Aunt Petunia added. "Harry will be with you as you buy them."  
"But! But why does HE have to be there! Why can't you?"  
"Because we. Dudley, we don't fit in where you'll have to get your stuff. Harry, on the other hand, does. He will show you where everything is."  
"But MUM!" "Hey, you think I like this anymore then you do?" Harry demanded. "But I'm going to do this. You're going to need all the help you can get, Dudley. More so, since you'll be learning with kids around eleven years old, and you, you're sixteen!"  
"WHAT? Why aren't I going to be in classes with you?"  
"You don't know as much as I do. You'll have to learn everything. I'll be done at Hogwarts while your still in your third year."  
"Bu-but MUM! They can't do that, can they?" Dudley turned to his mother for support who only nodded.  
"Its not fair!"  
"Dudley," Vernon said. "You'll buy your stuff with him, and he'll take care of you."  
"Until we get to school, that is." Harry cut in. His uncle glared at him, and Harry just glared right back. "Hey, we may not even be in the same house. He'll probably be in Hufflepuff!"  
"Huffle-what?" Vernon demanded.  
"Hufflepuff. Its one of the four Hogwarts houses. The sorting hat sorts you into them. It's a er magical hat that judges your character and decides which house you'll be in."  
"Which one are you in, boy?"  
"Gryffindor."  
"And which is the best?"  
"Well, I guess it'd be Gryffindor..."  
"Its settled then. Dudley will be in Gryffindor, too."  
"Uncle Vernon, it's not like that," Harry protested. "You can't just say which house he'll be in."  
Vernon sighed. "Go. Upstairs with you two." Neither of the boys moved. "I mean NOW." They jumped up and hurried out. ~*~*~ Harry walked quickly up the stairs, Dudley following. "I bet this is your fault, somehow." He complained loudly, purposely stepping on Harry's heals.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Okay, this one's shorter then the last, but I want to end it in a place where I can start off the next chapter really well. I promise the next one'll be longer then this. R/R! 


	4. Birthday Presents and Letters

A/N Since I keep forgetting to do this, here it is. All the chars in here are J. K. Rowling's. There might be a few I make up to add to the story, so they're mine. You'll be able to tell them apart from her's, trust me. So uh I guess that's the copyright. Here's chapter four. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ignoring Dudley, Harry went into his room. Flopping down on his bed, he stared up at the ceiling and tried to imagine what it would to be like to have Dudley at his school. 'Horrible' was the only word that came to mind.  
  
A tapping sound at his window got his attention. Looking over he saw Hedwig hovering just outside it, along with Pig and Errol. Jumping up, he opened the window and let the three owls land on his bed. Errol, like always, looked exhausted. Harry immediately carried him to Hegwig's cage where he feebly drank some of the water. He was taking a rather heavy package away from Hedwig when a fourth owl flew in from the window. It dropped a letter on the bed and flew right back out. After relieving Hedwig, Pig, and Errol from their burdens, Harry snatched up the letter.  
  
"Yes! My O.W.L. results!"  
  
"Owl? What's an owl result?" Dudley demanded, coming closer to the bed. Harry jumped. He hadn't realized that his cousin was in the room.  
  
"Ordinary Wizarding Levels.." Harry explained, tearing open the envelope. He scanned over his grades before smiling broadly. He had O's and E's in everything except Divination, in which he had a P.  
  
He tore opened the package Hedwig had been carrying. Inside was a birthday card and present from Hermione. Opening the card first, he saw a picture of Hermione waving at him.  
  
"THAT PICTURE IS MOVING!" Dudley yelled. He had been peeking over Harry's shoulder. Harry sighed. "Yes, Dudley. In the wizarding world, pictures move. Get used to it." He said shortly before turning back to the card and reading the happy birthday note inside.  
  
'Happy Birthday, Harry!' it read. Grinning, Harry read on.  
  
'I heard about your cousin being a wizard. He was in the Dailey Prophet, a picture of him stuck on the roof. I do hope he's okay. It also said he's starting Hogwarts this year. Won't that be fun.'  
  
Even in the letter Harry could detect Hermione's hints of sarcasm.  
  
'I'll be getting my stuff next Wednesday, Ron'll be there too. I hope you can make it '-Hermione'  
  
"Hey, she's sort of cute.." Dudley said, looking at Hermione's picture  
again.  
  
Harry froze. "You will leave her alone." He said coldly. "I mean it,  
Dudley."  
  
"Why, Harry? She your girlfriend?" Dudley taunted.  
  
Harry stood, griping his wand tightly in one hand. "Hermione is my best friend." He said firmly. "You WILL leave her alone. You will NOT mess with her."  
  
"Fine! God, just open her present already!"  
  
Sitting back down, Harry obeyed.  
  
Undoing the cord with the knife Sirius had given him and pulling off the brown paper, Harry saw his gift from Hermione. It was, of all things, a book. Hogwarts, A History, to be exact. Harry smacked one hand to his forehead as he laughed. Dudley didn't get it.  
  
"What's so funny about a book?" he demanded.  
  
"Private joke." Harry said, still grinning as he opened the parcel from Ron.  
  
There was a birthday card, of course, and a large bundle of sweets and items that all had a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes stamp somewhere on them.  
  
"Ohhh lemme have one!" Dudley said, reaching for a fat toffee.  
  
"No!" Harry knocked Dudley's arm out of the way. "Remember the toffee that made your tongue grow?"  
  
Dudley shrank back. "I'm er going to go to bed now.." he said, disappearing out of the room.  
  
Harry laughed and opened the card from Ron.  
  
'Dear Harry,  
  
'Happy birthday, bud! I can't wait to see you! Dad says your cousin's a wizard. Pity. But then, we can pick on him at Hogwarts! Revenge is sweet. By the way, don't eat the sweets! Or if you do, be careful. I tried to pick out some of the safest ones, but you know Fred and George..  
  
'Ginny's a prefect, I don't know how yet. Mother's very pleased. She's getting her own pet, a cat I think.  
  
'Anyways, you've got to come with me and Hermione to Diagon Ally. We'll all get our junk together, all right?  
  
'-Ron'  
  
Pulling out a quill, Harry quickly scribbled a reply.  
  
'Sure, Ron. Only I have to bring Dudley with me. My uncle's orders. Also, I'm sending Pig ahead of Errol, I'm not sure if he can make it on the way back yet.' He folded the note up and attached it to Pig's leg. The little owl shot out of the window at high speed.  
  
Harry sighed. He was alone again. Well, there were two owls in his room, but he longed for some human companionship.  
  
Looking through the bag of Wizard Wheezes, Harry decided he could have some fun with Dudley this year. but decided against it.  
  
'Your above that,' Hermione would say. 'Just because he ruined most of your life doesn't mean you have to ruin his. Besides, feel some pity. He's going to be learning with kids about five years younger then him!'  
  
His eyes began to shut, and with the sound of Hedwig's hooting in his ear, Harry fell asleep. ~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry woke early the next morning. The sun had barely began to rise over the houses on Privet drive. Yawning, he fumbled for his glasses a moment before realizing that they were still on his face.  
  
"Musta fella sleep last night." he muttered sleepily. Getting up he changed clothes. He was literally swimming in Dudley's old clothes, they were at least 6 sizes to big for him. Finding an old, worn belt, he wrapped it about his waist in vague hopes of keeping his pants up.  
  
Harry cleaned his glasses with his shirt. Opening his trunk he pulled out his schoolbooks and looked through them. He had finished his Potions essay last week; he just had one for Charms to do still.  
  
After staring at his Charms book for a quarter of an hour, Harry realized that an essay for Charms was the last thing he wanted to do today. He looked longingly over to his trunk that held his Firebolt.  
  
'I wish I was at the Burrow,' Harry thought. 'Then I could fly it and not have to worry about being sighted by muggles.'  
  
But, unfortunately, he was not at the Burrow. And he highly doubted that he could fly his Firebolt down Privet drive without being seen. Snapping his book shut, he found some parchment and a quill.  
  
'Ron,  
  
'Any chance I can come over this summer? The muggles, and Dudley, are driving me crazy. Are you guys at the Burrow or-' Harry stopped. Shutting his eyes, he took a deep breath and got control over his emotions. 'or are you at Sirius' place?  
  
'Write back soon  
  
'-Harry'  
  
Harry walked across the room to Hedwig's cage and pulled Errol out. The old owl looked a little better, but not much. Tying the note to Errol's leg, he opened the window and sent the owl out into the crisp morning air. ~*~*~*~*~  
  
An hour later Harry's stomach started rumbling. It also refused to be ignored. Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, he saw his aunt, uncle, and cousin had just started eating.  
  
Taking a seat, Harry put some food onto his plate. No one was talking. No one would look at him. He vaguely wondered if yesterday had really happened or if he had just dreamt it all. 'Not a dream, more like a nightmare..' he thought as he began eating.  
  
"When'll you be getting your school stuff?" his uncle asked finally, breaking the silence.  
  
Harry blinked. 'Dang,' he thought. 'It wasn't a dream after all.' "Err next Wednesday, I believe.."  
  
"We'll give you a ride to London."  
  
Harry nodded, stunned. His uncle had never volunteered his services before. But then, Dudley was the one he was probably helping most.  
  
"We'll also be entrusting our money to Dudley until you can exchange it for your money."  
  
Harry nodded again. This made more sense. His aunt and uncle had never given him money to hold on to before, why should they start now?  
  
An owl flew in through the open window. Harry reached up and grabbed Pig, looking worriedly at his Aunt and Uncle. They said nothing.  
  
"Er. I'll go read this in my room.." he stood up from the table and hurried upstairs, surprised that Ron had replied so fast and that his Aunt and Uncle weren't mad. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'Sure, Harry. Mum says you can come' Harry read Ron's reply and a grin came over his face.  
  
'We're at Sirius's house, though. Hope you don't mind. I can tell that you want to fly, but you just have to wait for school to start! Did Dumbledore tell you? You're back on the team as Seeker. I'm still Keeper, and I think Ginny might try out for Chaser. We do need more, now that ours are all gone.  
  
'Anyways, Dad'll come and get you. I think he'll be using a portkey, but I'm not sure. He certainly isn't traveling by floo powder. He'll be there in five days, so be ready!  
  
'-Ron' 


	5. Fireplace Mishaps

A/N It's the weekend! So I'm back again! I've been writing the fic out on a little sketch pad.. But I decided that it doesn't go with the story so I'm redoing all that I wrote! R/R, please!  
  
Kevin-McKay: Thanks for reviewing. I update whenever I can, but as I can only post on the weekends it makes it a bit hard.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'Five days...' Harry thought as he went down the stairs. 'That's next Wednesday, so it all works out.' Another thought came into his mind. 'Wait, I don't want Dudley near Hermione!'  
"Stop making so much noise!" his aunt's angry voice interrupted his thoughts. "You'd think we had an elephant going down the stairs!"  
"Yeah, and what about when Dudley does it.?" Harry muttered under his breath.  
"What'd you say?"  
"Nothing, nothing." Harry said quickly, going quietly down the last few steps into the kitchen. Aunt Petunia was washing the dishes while Uncle Vernon was reading.something in the paper.  
"Uncle Vernon?"  
His uncle grunted. Harry took this as a sign he was listening.  
"Next Wednesday. me and my friends are going to go get our school stuff, okay?"  
"Dudley goes too."  
Harry nodded slowly. 'Dang.' "Of course."  
"We'll drive you, like we said."  
"Um actually, Ron's dad is going to come and pick me up."  
Uncle Vernon paled. "The fre- the man who blew apart our fireplace and covered half the room in soot?!"  
"Yeah, him. Only this time he won't be traveling by Floo Powder."  
"Floo Powder?"  
"Er its one of our ways of transportation." Harry began slowly.  
"No, I don't want to know." His uncle said gruffly and went back to reading his paper.  
"So I can go, right?"  
"Yes, yes."  
Before his uncle could change his mind-though Harry doubted he would- Harry was gone, back up the stairs, quietly this time, and in his room. Pulling out his calendar, he circled next Wednesday. Sitting down on his bed, he stared at the calendar. "Only five days." he muttered to it. "Just five more days."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Five days actually passed much quicker then Harry had expected. Before he knew it, it was almost time for Mr. Weasley to be there.  
Harry was packing his trunk in his room (Hogwarts, A History was in the bottom of it); he didn't plan on coming back to the Dursleys, not if he could go stay at Sirius's house with Ron for the remainder of the summer.  
For a few days he had considered telling Dudley what it would be like to travel by a portkey, but then decided against it. He would be decent to his cousin, but he had his limits.  
Running a hand through his messy hair, Harry went to see what Dudley was doing. He knew that Dudley was in his room, he could hear the TV from his room, but didn't know if Dudley was ready to go or not.  
Without bothering to knock he went in. "Dudley?"  
His cousin barely looked up from his candy bar, his piggy eyes glued to it and the television.  
"Ready to go? We're leaving pretty soon."  
"We won't be gone that long. So yeah, I'm ready."  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Do you have the money from your mum?"  
"Er no."  
"Then I suggest you go get it."  
Dudley sighed and lifted himself up. Harry thought it looked like a great effort, but said nothing, just moved out of the way as Dudley waddled out of his room and down the stairs. Harry followed him, keeping a few feet behind Dudley's massive bulk, to the kitchen.  
"Mum, I need my money." Dudley said, holding out a fat hand. Aunt Petunia put a few large bills into it. Dudley's hand clamped shut on the money, shoving it into his pocket.  
"When will he be arriving?" Aunt Petunia asked, turning to Harry.  
"Uh any minute-" Harry never got to finish his sentence. Arnold Weasley and Ron appeared on top of him, knocking the breath out of him, holding what looked to be like an old tire. "Harry!" Ron said cheerfully from his seat on Harry's stomach. "How are you, bud?"  
"Ron. Mr. Weasley. get off me!" Harry gasped. The two obeyed instantly, both turning a bit red at the ears.  
Aunt Petunia was in shock, party from the fact that there was a dirty old tire on her clean white floor, and party because there were now two people standing in her kitchen.  
"Okay boys." Mr. Weasley said, rubbing his hands together. "We must be going. The portkey is set to leave in five minutes, back to-" Mr. Weasley stopped. "Home. Yes, home."  
"Ron, help me grab my trunk." Harry said, leaving the kitchen and starting up the stairs. Ron followed, sniggering. "Does he get bigger every summer, Harry?" He asked, not bothering to hide his grin or keep his voice low.  
Harry just nodded, not wanting Aunt Petunia to hear him agree.  
With Ron's help they got his trunk down the stairs and into the kitchen in a matter of minutes. "Alright dad, we're ready to go."  
"Dudley, just grab onto the tire.. Yes, that's right." Mr. Weasley said, looping one arm around Harry's trunk as the boys all grabbed onto the tire.  
Harry felt that jerking feeling behind his naval just as Uncle Vernon chose that moment to come into the room. "What the h-" he was cut off. They were gone. Sighing, he turned to Petunia. "Why doesn't anybody tell me these things?"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
They arrived in the middle of the kitchen at 12 Grimgauld (sp?) place. Dudley fell down, landing on his side, but the rest managed to stay up.  
"Harry! You're here!" Hermione and Ginny came into the room, both grinning widely and not paying the least bit of attention to Dudley. Glancing behind him, he saw his cousin getting up with Mrs. Weasley's help.  
  
"Hi Hermione, Gin." Harry said, giving them a small wave. "When do we go get our stuff?"  
"Now." Mrs. Weasley said. "We'll be doing Floo Powder this time, though. Makes it much easier. Now, Harry, why don't you introduce your cousin to us?"  
"Er. Dudley, this is Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley." Harry said, pointing them out in her. "Guys this is, Dudley."  
Only Mrs. Weasley said hello to Dudley. All the others had heard too much about him from Harry to like him all that much.  
"School shopping at Diagon Ally? Can I come too?" Tonks asked, coming into the room and almost tripping over Harry's trunk.  
"Er. I guess." Mrs. Weasley said slowly, looking Tonks over. From her short, spiked bubble gum pink hair to her shockingly pink cloak, Tonks was. noticeable. "Any chance you can tone down the outfit a bit there?"  
"What? Like this?" Tonks scrunched up her face, like she was trying to remember something. Her hair grew longer, shoulder length, and turned a deep shade of brown. Seeing Mrs. Weasley still frowning at her cloak, Tonks grinned and went to get one of a different shade.  
"Alright, we're all here" Tonks had come back down in an emerald cloak, which Mrs. Weasley seemed to approve of. "Oh, dear. you won't know how to travel by Floo Powder, now would you?" Mrs. Weasley was looking at Dudley as she spoke.  
"What's Floo Powder?" Was all Dudley asked as Mrs. Weasley passed around the flowerpot. They all took a handful and stepped closer to the kitchen fireplace, except Dudley, that is. Harry's cousin was staring nervously at the flowerpot, as if he was expecting it to bite him.  
"Now, dear, just watch Ron go first.. Ron.." Ron stepped into the fireplace, threw down the powder, and said quite clearly, "Diagon Ally!" Then. he was gone. Dudley gasped.  
"W-where'd he go?!" he demanded, shocked.  
"Where he said he was going, Diagon Ally. Harry, you next.." Harry stepped into the fire, only barely listening to Mrs. Weasley explaining to Dudley how to use the Floo Powder. "Diagon Ally!"  
Then he was there, coming out of a fireplace in some shop or another. Ron helped him up. "Alright, now, lets just wait for Hermione and we can go!" Ron said cheerfully.  
"Hermione and Dudley," Harry corrected. "Tonks and your mother can get Ginny's stuff, I guess. We also have to stop at Gringotts. Dudley needs to exchange his money."  
"Oh. Right. Him." Ron sighed. "Well, we can always look at the quidditch shop while we wait! It's right across the street, perfectly within seeing distance. And besides, there's a new broom! A Nimbus 2002 at that! But it's not better then a Firebolt, I read about it."  
"Nothing better then a Firebolt is going to come out for years." Tonks said, having appeared through the fireplace. "And let me come too! I had to use a different fireplace; Dudley got stuck in the kitchen one. And the idiot won't even use the Floo Powder to get himself out!"  
Harry and Ron were laughing very hard. Tonks rolled her eyes and dragged them to the Quidditch shop window.  
"See, Harry? Told you!" Ron said cheerfully. "The Firebolt still has the front window all to itself. The Nimbus 2002 is over there, partially hidden by those books!"  
"Think Malfoy'll get one?" Harry asked, trying to get a better look at the hidden broom."  
"Maybe. Why are you thinking about Malfoy anyway?"  
Harry shrugged. "Just sizing up the competition."  
"Malfoy? Competition? Are you nuts? We've only lost to Slytherin when you weren't on the team, Harry, and you know that."  
  
"Yeah. Not on the team." Harry sighed. "Hope you guys'll do better this year."  
"What are you talking about? You're on the team, Dumbledore told us!"  
"Huh?"  
"That's right." Tonks said. "Now that Umbridge is gone, your back on the team."  
Harry brightened considerably. "Really?"  
Tonks smile warmly. "Really."  
"Harry, Ron, Tonks, get back over here!" Mrs. Weasley called, waving them towards her. An ashen Dudley stood next to her, along with Ginny and Hermione. The three obediently walked away from the quidditch shop to them.  
"Alright," Mrs. Weasley said. "Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Dudley, you four shop together. Tonks and I will get Ginny's stuff." Mrs. Weasley handed Ron a small pouch full of money. "I know your father got a raise at the Ministry, but he hasn't gotten paid yet." She explained, noticing the look on Ron's face.  
"Well? What are we all standing around for? Go!" Mrs. Weasley shooed them away.  
"C'mon Dudley." Harry said. "We've got to go to Gringotts first."  
"Huh?" Dudley looked perplexed.  
"Gringotts, the bank." Harry said shortly. With Ron and Hermione on either side, he started off towards the snow white building. Dudley followed.  
Upon entering the bank, Harry decided that he should of told Dudley that Gringotts was run by goblins. Unfortunately, it happened to skip his mind earlier. When he saw the goblins, Dudley let out a small squeak of fright and looked like he was about to faint. The trio ignored this and went up to a free clerk.  
"How can I help you?"  
"Dudley, give me your money." Harry commanded, holding out his hand. Dudley just shook his head and plopped the money down on the counter. Harry sighed. "We need to exchange this for our money, and I need to get some out of my vault."  
"Alright." The goblin said. "I'll have someone take you down." He turned to Dudley. "You. Wait here." He called over another goblin to take Harry down to his vault. "Go with him." He said before disappearing behind the counter.  
"Come on Ron, Hermione." Harry said, following the goblin.  
"W-wh-what about me?" Dudley asked, shaking.  
"Wait here." Harry said cheerfully before disappearing after the goblin through another door. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ All right, chapter five is done! I hope to get chapter six up by tomorrow. And I know the fic started out really corny at first, but its getting better. right? 


	6. Shopkeepers and Wands

Tidmag: Thanks for your review! This'll be the chapter with most of the Diagon Ally stuff in it, so it should turn out to be pretty interesting!  
  
Savanah: Savanah, I've told you before, your nuts. I'll see you in school Monday. You better eat lunch with us and not let April take you to French Club again!!!  
  
Kevin-McKay: Thanks for reviewing again, and thank you. I'd correct that mistake, but lets pretend you guys all know what I meant.  
  
Mouse: Nope, Dudley isn't going to be siding with Malfoy in THIS fic. After all, he's not a pureblood or anything. And trust me, he's going to have several run-ins with first years who won't take any crap from him, pardon my French.  
  
Albert Lopez: Thanks!  
  
HarryGryffinGirl: Yes Ma'am.  
  
Now, onto the fic!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dudley stared after his cousin in shock, then took a deep breath. 'I can do this.' He thought, trying to regain his nerve. 'They're just goblins, after all. Bankers. Just really ugly bankers.' He waited for the goblin that had taken his money to come back.  
He still couldn't cope with the fact that he was a wizard. It was too much of a new thing for him. He had never displayed any signs of magic before now. Dudley sighed.  
"Here you go, sir." The goblin said, pushing pile of gold, silver, and bronze coins at him. "Here's a bag, too." the goblin set the bag next to the coins. "Next!"  
Dudley moved out of the way, shoving his coins into his bag. He leaned against the wall and watched the other customers while he waited.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
After two wild cart rides, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were back upstairs. "Where'd Dudley go?" Ron asked.  
"He's over there," Harry said, pointing.  
"Where, I don't see him.. Oh wait, yes I do. I thought for a moment that he was just an incredibly ugly painting or something."  
Harry and Hermione sniggered as the three walked towards Dudley.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Dudley watched his cousin and his cousin's friends approach. "So uh where to next?" he asked, trying not to sound too stupid.  
"Madam Malkin's, I suppose." Harry said. "You'll need your robes."  
"Robes?"  
"They're like your school uniform." Hermione explained in her know-it- all tone.  
"Oh. can we go now?"  
"Why, Dudley? Does this place freak you out or something?" Ron asked. Dudley said nothing.  
"Stop it, guys." Harry said. "Come on. Madam Malkin's is just down the street." The three started off. Dudley followed a little behind, absorbing Diagon Ally as they walked. Finally they ended up outside what could have only been Madam Malkin's. Harry opened the door and the four filed in.  
"My, my." Madam Malkin said. "I haven't seen you around here before, have I?" she was looking at Dudley.  
  
"N-n-no." he stuttered.  
  
"He needs robes." Hermione said. "He's starting at Hogwarts this year."  
"Isn't he a bit. big to be a first year?"  
"I came into my magic late." Dudley said defensively.  
"Oh fine, get up there on the short stool there, that's a-" There was a breaking noise. "On second thought, just stay there." She began cleaning up the stool, which had broken under Dudley's weight.  
Dudley was flushing an interesting reddish shade. 'He looks a bit like Uncle Vernon.' Harry thought to himself.  
Several other mishaps happened at the shop, Madam Hooch having to get a larger measuring tape to measure him, for one. Also, it took her a long while to get Dudley's robes, as she had to make them herself. They had none in his size.  
So Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited, bored, wanting to go get the other stuff they needed. Finally Dudley had his robes and they could leave.  
  
"Lets get our books next," Hermione suggested. "That shouldn't take too long. Then we can get the rest of the stuff Dudley'll need."  
"Good plan, Hermione." Ron agreed, walking quickly across the street to Flourish and Blotts. The rest followed single file with Dudley bringing up the end.  
"Here we are, Dudley." Harry said. "Get your books."  
"But where are they?" Dudley asked, looking around the massive bookshop.  
"Ask for help. People here are nice."  
Dudley waddled up to the front desk. "Er excuse me.." he began, trying to get the elderly shop keeper's attention.  
"Yes? What do you need, son?"  
Dudley mutely handed the man his book list. The man adjusted his glasses read. "Aren't you a bit old for first year stuff?"  
"I. I came into my magic late." Dudley tried to explain.  
"Huh? Speak up sonny! I can't hear you."  
"I came into my magic late!" Dudley repeated, much louder. He succeeded in getting the attention from everyone in the store. Most to all of the people started laughing.  
"Oh! Why didn't you just say so?" the shopkeeper asked, a friendly grin on his face. Apparently he was too death to hear the people laughing.  
"I did." Dudley muttered  
"What's that, sonny?"  
"N-nothing sir."  
"Alright then, let me get these for you." the shopkeeper limped around the shop, randomly grabbing the books Dudley needed off the shelves. "That'll be 100. wait, I mean, 10 galleons and 12 sickles." He announced.  
"Uh." Dudley pulled out a handful of money. "I. I don't know about-"  
  
"Let me help you." Hermione said, taking Dudley's money and counting out the right amount for him.  
"I don't need your help!" Dudley snapped. Hermione flinched.  
"Watch it, Dudley." Ron said coldly. "Keep that attitude up and you won't be popular at all. With anyone but my fist, that is." Dudley shut up.  
Harry was trying his hardest not to laugh. It wasn't every day that he saw Dudley this frightened of his friends, after all.  
Dudley grabbed his books and waddled out of the store, having to turn sideways to get out the door, which only caused more laughed in the store. Shutting his eyes, Dudley walked into the street, trying to tone out their laughter. Instead, he succeeded in bumping into someone.  
"Watch where you're going, you filthy mudblood." Came Draco Malfoy's drawl. "You could of knocked down my shopping!" Behind him was a servant, apparently trying to carry all of the things Draco needed for school. ((A/N Draco Malfoy is MINE! I hate to admit it, but I have a thing for just about all white-blond/white/silver haired guys.))  
"Watch it yourself," Dudley snapped back, rudely shoving by Malfoy.  
Malfoy blinked. "How dare-" he stopped, seeing Harry, Hermione, and Ron watching from the doorway of Flourish and Botts. "So. Your with them?" he jerked his head in the trio's direction.  
Dudley shrugged. "No. My dad's making Harry help me out. Says that since we've taken Harry in for the last 15 years the least he could do would be to show his cousin around Diagon Ally."  
Malfoy's thin lips curled into a malicious smile. "Really, so your Harry's cousin.?"  
Dudley nodded, his many chins wobbling with the action.  
"I see no family resemblance." Malfoy said coldly. "Mudblood, don't try to act bigger then you are-" he paused. "On second thought, your bigger than everyone else at Hogwarts, in size." He started down the cobblestone street, his servant following.  
Dudley blinked. "What an uptight-"  
"So I see you met Malfoy." Ron interrupted, the three of them having walked up to Dudley. ((A/N I'm trying to keep the fic at G, but if I make any slips, I'm sure I'll have people telling me.))  
"That's his name?"  
"Yup, I'm surprised you two aren't all chummy. You have something in common. A hate for Harry here." Ron nudged Harry, who was trying to clean his glasses.  
Sticking them back on his face, Harry sighed. "Ron, don't give him any ideas." He said sternly. "Dudley, come on, lets get your wand." They started off towards Ollivanders. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
In Harry's opinion, Ollivanders was unusually crowded, there being at least three people in front of them waiting to get their wands. Two out of the three people were done quickly, the third person taking quite a while because she couldn't figure out if she was left or right handed. Finally it was Dudley's turn. He approached Ollivander nervously; looking the man over while Ollivander measured him. "Try this." Was the first thing that Ollivander said to him, holding out a wand. Dudley reached out for it, grasping it in his fat hand, but the wand was quickly pulled away from him and another was put in its place. "Wave it." Ollivander commanded. Dudley obeyed, feeling quite stupid. Nothing happened. The wand was jerked out of his hand. "Try this, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Well, what are you waiting for? Try it already!" Dudley waved it, feeling a sudden warmth in his fingers. Purple sparks shot out the end. He dropped the wand in surprise. Mr. Ollivander bent down and picked it up. "This is your wand," he said, handing it back to Dudley. "It chose you. That'll be seven galleons." He held out his hand. Dudley dug around in his pocket and handed Mr. Ollivander the gold. Turning around, Dudley realized that Harry, Hermione, and Ron weren't standing in the shop anymore. He stepped outside the store and looked around. They were nowhere to be seen. He felt the first tinglings of fear running down his spine. Where were his guides? ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Ron, should we really be doing this?" Hermione asked as she, Harry, and Ron walked down Diagon Ally's cobblestone street. "Why not, 'Mione?" Ron asked. "Its not like he hasn't made Harry's life miserable for the last 15 or so years." "But still... this is all new to him. We shouldn't be ditching him like this, should we? Think of all the trouble he could get into!" "I am, Hermione, trust me I am!" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sorry for such a short chappy. I wanted to get it up so I could start on the next one, and this seemed as good a place as any to stop.. 


	7. Diagon Ally

Kevin-McKay: Thanks for reviewing again. And don't worry, he'll find Harry, Ron, and Hermione. eventually.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
My internet wasn't working last weekend, that's why this chapter is a  
day late. Also, I wanted to add more.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Dudley ventured out of the shop, his new wand in a velvet box  
tucked under his arm. Glancing around Diagon Ally, he decided that he  
knew where nothing was and his best bet was to stay put.  
Unfortunately, he didn't listen to his own advice.  
Instead, he started walking down the street. He found the  
quidditch shop and blinked. "Broomsticks?" he asked aloud, shocked  
that they were on display. "Geese, and I thought mom took cleaning  
seriously"  
"What are YOU talking about?" said an unknown girl, stepping out  
of the shop with a parcel that contained a broomstick. "You wouldn't  
use these to CLEAN!" she was looking at him like he was crazy.  
Dudley blinked, his face showing a very common emotion for him:  
confusion. "Huh? What else would you use a broom for?"  
"My god muggles are stupid." she muttered. "You use a broom to  
play quidditch!"  
"What's quidditch? A brand name?"  
The girl gave a dramatic sigh. "Figures. Since you don't know  
the proper use for a broom it only fits that you don't know what  
quidditch is.." she let herself drift off. A silence fell between  
them.  
"Tell me already!" Dudley snapped finally.  
"Say please!" she taunted in a singsong voice.  
Dudley clenched his fists. He couldn't believe a girl who  
couldn't be older then 11 was insulting him like this. "Please." He  
hissed through clenched teeth.  
"Well. okay!" she began explaining all she knew about quidditch,  
which was quite a bit.  
Dudley's mind was in a whirl. He never knew that these people  
had organized, worldwide games! Slowly, he began edging away from the  
girl, who didn't seem to notice.  
"Dudley, why aren't you with Harry and them?" Ginny's voice cut  
through the girl's.  
"Oh, hello Red." Dudley flashed a grin at Ginny. She was  
actually quite attractive.  
"Knock it out or I knock your ears off." Snapped one of the two  
identical boys standing on either side of her.  
"Who are you?" Dudley demanded.  
"Fred Weasley." Fred said.  
"And I'm George Weasley." George said.  
"And if you eve look at our little sister like that again.."  
"We'll kill you!"  
"Gee, fine, whatever." Dudley said quickly, holding up his hands  
to ward them off. "God, not like I committed a crime or something!"  
"Just stay out of our store." The twins said together.  
"You couldn't PAY me to go into your store!" Dudley snapped.  
"Where are Harry and Ron and Hermione?" Ginny asked,  
interrupting her brothers and Dudley.  
"They ditched me." Dudley admitted.  
"Do you have all your school stuff?"  
"Well, I think so.." he double-checked the parcels under his  
arms. "No. I haven't gotten my cauldron."  
Ginny sighed. "Then lets go get it so we can go."  
"O..kay." Dudley said slowly. "But I dunno where to get my  
stuff, so you'll have to show me."  
"No." Fred and George said together.  
"Oh, dears, you found him!" Mrs. Weasley's voice cut through  
their conversation as she hurried over to the small group, accompanied  
by Tonks, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We've been looking for you for a  
while, Dudley. You can't just wander off like that in Diagon Ally,  
especially as you don't know your way around!"  
"B-but I didn't wander off! They ditched me!" Dudley protested  
loudly, his many chins shaking as glaring at the three friends who had  
innocent looks on their faces.  
"What? Ron, Harry, and Hermione wouldn't do that." Mrs. Weasley  
said, glancing back at the trio behind her. "They know better. They'd  
BETTER know better." She shot them a look and turned back to Dudley.  
Dudley sighed. He could see that this was one argument he wasn't  
going to win. So, rather resignedly, he went with Mrs. Weasley and got  
the rest of his school stuff.  
'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes' ((YES! I know I got it right this  
time! ^^)) read the sign in gold in fairly new paint. The store window  
gleamed, the glass showing no reflection of the light, the items on  
display showing clearly. Dudley paused outside the door as the others  
filed inside. What's-their-faces had forbidden him from coming in.  
"Well? What are you waiting for?" Hermione asked, tapping his  
shoulder. He was blocking the doorway.  
"Uh I'm not sure I'm 'loud in." Dudley said.  
"Get in already!" Ron snapped from behind her. Harry said  
nothing, just looked a bit annoyed.  
Dudley pushed himself through the door, though he had to turn to  
his side to do so. Someone, probably Ron, sniggered cruelly. Dudley  
felt his face flush. He was used to doing the bullying, not being  
bullied. Ron shoved past him, Harry and Hermione following a bit more  
politely.  
Dudley sighed and hurried after the others to the very large  
fireplace in the back of the shop.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
The return to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was  
uneventful. The Weasley brother's shop had a large fireplace, so  
Dudley didn't get stuck in it. Dudley spent the remainder of his  
holiday up in the room he had been given. Ron didn't trust him, Harry  
ignored him, and Hermione stayed away from him. Even Mrs. Weasley had  
stopped trying to include him.  
The day finally came when Mrs. Weasley knocked on his door and  
told him to pack his trunk. Of course, his trunk had been packed for  
the last few days. He couldn't wait to get out of the house, though he  
supposed that the school wouldn't be any better. Dudley didn't realize  
it, but he was starting to get a dose of what Harry felt like at  
number four, Privet Drive.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Okay okay, its short, but the next one will be longer then this,  
I promise. Also, I wanted to get an update up. I'm hoping to have  
chappy 8 up by Sunday, but, depending on how my weekend goes, that may  
or may not happen. So, R/R! 


	8. Hogwarts

Dudley observed the barrier to platform 9 ¾ with unease. It seemed solid, much to solid for his liking.  
"Ron, Harry, you two next." Mrs. Weasley said. Ginny and Mr. Weasley had gone through already, much to Dudley's disbelief, and Dudley was going next with Hermione.  
Ron and Harry set off at a walk to the barrier. They got closer and closer until- suddenly they were no longer there. Dudley stared at the spot they had disappeared through.  
"Okay, Dudley, Hermione, go."  
"B-but Mrs. Weasley, I dunno how to." Dudley protested.  
"Its easy. Just walk straight at it." Mrs. Weasley said.  
Dudley glanced back at the barrier. "Uh it looks pretty solid to me." he said uncertainly.  
"My god!" Hermione snapped, shoving past him. "If you won't go, I will." She started purposely towards the wall and went through.  
Dudley sighed. 'If she can do it, I can.' He thought stubbornly as he started for the barrier. 'I can do this. I can do this. I can-I'M GOING TO CRASH! Oh...my.god.' Dudley thought as he stared at the scarlet steam engine before him.  
"Finally." Harry said, coming over to Dudley. "You were taking long enough."  
"It looked solid." Dudley muttered, but it was obvious that Harry didn't hear him.  
"I'll help you get your trunk on the train," Harry went on, "but you'll have to find someone to sit with on your own."  
"But I don't know anyone!" Dudley wined.  
"Stop that." Harry snapped. "I didn't know anyone either, so get over it." He helped Dudley get his trunk onto the train and disappeared to a compartment near the end.  
Dudley looked around. 'Okay,' He though. 'I'll show you, Harry.' He peeked into the next compartment.  
It was empty.  
Sighing, Dudley quickly changed into his robes and sat down on the seat, easily taking up two, and pressed the side of his face against the window. His cheek cushioned his cheekbones, wherever they were, very well from the hard, cold windowpane.  
Loneliness.  
It was a new feeling for him. He'd always had his gang or someone to beat up on at home.  
Now he had no one.  
'I'll show you, Harry.' He thought again. 'You'll see. I'll find me a gang and become the most popular kid at this freak school!'  
With many more thoughts like that, Dudley Dursley drifted off to sleep.  
~*~*~*~*~  
Dudley awoke as the train came slowly to a stop. Yawning, he stood and stretched, following the stream of students off of the train.  
"'Firs' years! Firs' years follow me!" Hagrid called loudly over the other students.  
Dudley let out a frightened squeak as he recognized Hagrid; the man who'd given him the pig tail six years ago. He froze in his steps, but was forced to move alone with the crowd and was inevitably pushed closer to Hagrid.  
He looked at the other first years surrounding him, all following after Hagrid to the boats. They were all shorter-and thinner-then he was. He caught glimpses of their faces and thought he recognized the girl from Diagon Ally.  
"Four to a boat," Hagrid said, interrupting his thoughts. "'Cept for you, that is." Dudley realized that Hagrid was talking to him. "You just share with one other person. Three wouldn't fit in a boat with you."  
Dudley flushed. Saying nothing, he went and sat down in a boat.  
No one came to sit with him.  
Sighing, Dudley leaned back, looking up at the night sky. Gray-black clouds covered it, blocking the stars from his view. Shifting his weight, he peered over the side of the boat into the water. Still, he could see nothing in the murky water. He leaned farther over, his nose almost touching the water.  
The boats began moving suddenly, and he was thrown off balance into the water. Fighting his way to the surface, he felt something wrap around his ankle.  
Dudley screamed, or tried to, the water pouring into his mouth and filling his lungs.  
A large hand grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him to the surface. Coughing and choking the water out of his lungs, Dudley clutched at the side of the boat. Hagrid pulled him inside while the other students watched. Dudley's boat floated over to Hagrid's, gently bumping up against the side. With Hagrid's help, he managed to get back in his own boat, laying down along the seats and staring up at the sky.  
The boats began moving again, heading towards the castle a bit faster then before, as if to make up for lost time. Dudley lay in the bottom of the boat for the rest of the journey, shivering from the cold, wet cloth against his skin.  
At last the boats came to the other side of the lake. Waiting for his to come to a complete stop, Dudley glanced around at the other kids. 'There she is.' he thought, once more finding the girl from Diagon Ally. The girl noticed his gaze and smiled slightly before turning away from him and walking with the others.  
Realizing that he was being left behind, Dudley quickly got out of the boat. Tripping over his feet, he fell flat on his face in the sand, managing to coat himself with the stuff. 'This just isn't my day...' he thought, jumping to his feet and attempting to brush himself off while ignoring the snickers from the other kids.  
"Fat oaf..." he heard one student comment. "Why was he even aloud to enroll?" asked another. "Bet he gets put in Hufflepuff." "Hey! My mum was in Hufflepuff! He'll probably be put in Slytherin." "Nah, Slytherin's to good for the likes of him."  
"Shut up, all of you!" Dudley snapped loudly. The crowd of students immediately quieted. "If I hear one more word out of any of you, I'll. I'll."  
  
"What? Finish a sentence?" One girl drawled, getting laughs from the rest.  
Feeling himself go red, he was glad for the darkness. "That's it." He said, pulling up the sleeves of his robes.  
"Ooo! I'm sooooo scared!" She taunted, laughing.  
Dudley began advancing on the unknown girl, but was stopped short by Hagrid's large arm. "None o' that," He said firmly. "You're not gettin' detention on your first day, at least, not when I'm in charge o' you!"  
Dudley glared up at the large man. "Then shut her up yourself." He said though clenched teeth.  
"Why? She's not doing anything wrong. Unless, of course, her comments bother you?"  
He ground his teeth. "Of course not." He said finally. "Where would you get a stupid idea like that?"  
"Just wonderin'." Hagrid replied calmly.  
"Right. Whatever. Are we ever going to get to this castle, or would you like us to stand around here for a while longer?" Dudley demanded, shivering from his wet clothes.  
"We're going, we're going." Hagrid gathered up the class again and led them into the entrance hall of the school.  
Dudley tried not to look around at everything, but was unable to resist. As Professor McGonagall led them into the Great Hall, his eyes became glued to the ceiling as the other first years pointed at it in awe.  
"Come stand over here," Professor McGonagall said, motioning for the first years to stop before a stool with a very old, worn hat atop it.  
Dudley stared at the hat, wondering what it was supposed to do. McGonagall pulled out a scroll and began reading off names.  
"Archer, Robert." She said, and a short, pale looking boy stepped forward and sat down on the stool. McGonagall placed the hat on his dusty brown hair.  
"HUFFLEPUFF!" The Sorting Hat said loudly and the Hufflepuff table began clapping loudly as Robert took his seat.  
"Barnet, Marie." The girl who'd been taunting him stepped up and sat on the stool. McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on her head.  
"SLYTHERIN!" Marie smirked and took her seat.  
"Dursley, Dudley." Dudley blinked, and slowly started up towards McGonagall and the hat, ignoring the whispers and laughs from the tables behind him. He lowered himself gingerly onto the stool, hoping that it'd bear his weight. He heard it creak and groan underneath him, but tried not to think about it as he saw McGonagall lowering the hat below his head.  
"I say, I can't believe the stool is holding up his weight! He must weigh more then all the other first years combined!" a students voice rang out, though it was impossible to tell who's voice it was.  
Dudley jumped at the unexpected noise. The stool, not liking this, gave out beneath him and very soon he was sitting among the broken remains of it as the Great Hall burst into laughter.  
"No matter," McGonagall said, taking out her wand and ignoring the way that Dudley flinched back from it. She waved it, and the shattered pieces of wood gathered themselves up and drifted out the door before she conjured up a new, hopefully stronger, chair.  
Professor McGonagall turned back to Dudley as the hall quieted down. "Sit back down," she ordered. He obeyed, but could already tell that this stool, unlike the last, would bear his weight. She set the hat down upon his head. ~*~*~*~  
Harry watched the people laugh at Dudley, and felt a smile tugging at the corners of his face. He knew that Dean Thomas had been the one who'd made the comment, and thought it rather amusing, but not nearly as much as Ron did, who was still laughing.  
"You know," Hermione said in an undertone to the two boys. "I could almost feel bad for him."  
"But you don't." Ron said firmly.  
Hermione said nothing.  
"Hermione! You can't feel sorry for him, not after all he's done to Harry!"  
"I don't, I don't." Hermione leaned back a bit. "But I do wish that they'd hurry up with the sorting. I'm hungry!" ~*~*~*~*~ Look, people! I'm alive!! Isn't it amazing? I would of updated sooner, but I've been. busy. Also, as for which house Dudley's going to be in, you guys choose. First house with five votes gets it. And don't vote Gryffindor. 


	9. Dudley Update

All right, people. Just to let you know, I'm still alive. Avatars have become my newest... addiction, shall we say, and I'm constantly collecting them on neopets. I do have chapter nine partially written, I just haven't gotten around to typing it up and/or finishing it yet. ' If you really want to get me to update, you can always bug me on neopets. I'm not quite sure how many people are still reading this, and I do want to find that out. Anyways, my neo username is redxiii15. Bug me there if you wish.  
Shobi 


	10. Updatedagain '

To the person who last reviewed me, proclaiming that they would die of curiosity if I didn't update:

Heh. Sorry. I'm going to need to get Microsoct Word on this computer before I can update again--and even then I'm going to most likely end up revising what I have now. Too many errors for me to be able to look at it without flinching.

However, when I do get Word agian, I promise to update. You can hold me to that.

Thanks,

Shobi


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